Resources - Testimonies

TESTIMONY
ALLEN P. GOFF

In his book, Conformed to His Image (2001), Kenneth Boa defines spiritual formation as "the grace-driven development process in which the soul grows in conformity to the image of Christ." Grace means that I have been shown unmerited favor by God and no man must think that his salvation or even ministry is his own doing. Although the Apostle Paul is known for his epistles and his powerful influence over growing the young Church, he said of himself, “…by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect” (1 Cor 15:10). Therefore, I will proclaim that same grace that saved me and changed me into a disciple and disciplemaker of the Lord Jesus Christ.

BC - Before Christ
I was born in Georgetown University Hospital in Washington, DC, in 1954, the eldest of three children. Raised on a small farm in southeastern Missouri, my father moved to DC to become the Chief Accountant of the Smithsonian Institution. My mother was from a coal community in a small suburb of Wilkes Barre, PA.

Although dad rarely went to church, my mother dutifully took me to church with her. There, I learned Bible stories in children's Sunday School, but their practical significance eluded me. Later, church was nothing more than a social club through my High School years.

Because reality was unfulfilling, I became a dreamer. I loved stories about super heroes and wanted to have adventures like them. I also loved stories about space exploration and I read books by Asimov, Heinlein, Sagan, and studied Immanuel Velikovsky’s book, Worlds in Collision (1950), where he presented interesting explanations for many of the biblical miracles.

As I grew older, my young friends convinced me that partying with them and having a girlfriend would fulfill me. But these things led to continual heartache and feelings of shame. Although I studied as an Art major at Bowie State University, the joy of creating was lost in harsh subjective critique. However, I later found that I had a talent in restaurant management, and found some fulfillment in that for a number of years. But, when I reached the pinnacle of success in that field, it also left me empty and restless. In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon recorded that he tried everything under the sun, but his conclusion was that everything is meaningless. Without a practical relationship with God in my life, I found this to be true.

When Jesus Came Into My Heart
Although I did not know it, God was working in me and arranged a rendezvous. In a painting class that I took at Bowie State in 1973, I eavesdropped on two Bowie-area housewives, who chatted from their easels during class about what they had learned from their morning Bible reading. Day after day, they quoted prophecies from the books of Daniel and Revelation, relating the prophecies to events headlining the newspaper. It frightened me to think how close the second coming of Christ could be because I knew that I lived as an unbeliever.

I concluded that when Jesus came again, I deserved to be judged and go to hell. The Bible says about entering the New Jerusalem, “Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life” (Revelation 21:27). So, I went home, closed my door, and with many tears, I prayed for God to have mercy on me and to save me. After this prayer, I was confident that an eternal transaction had been made and that Jesus had come into my heart.

Committing to Christ planted a deeper curiosity about the nature of God. I saw a production of the play, Godspell, and constantly listened to a record of the rock opera, Jesus Christ Superstar. These two sources of knowledge about God served as catalysts to know him more. God can use anything to draw us into a closer relationship with Him. He is so very eager for us to know him. But, I still had a long way to go.

As I look back, there was little outward change in my moral behavior. I claimed to be a Christian, but for the most part, I continued to live as a hedonist. The tension caused by my contradictory behavior made me feel guilty and I constantly prayed for forgiveness and the power to overcome temptation. No one had invited me to church, but God was preparing another rendezvous.

One-to-One Bible Study
A pivotal moment came in the Fall of 1978 after my father offered to pay my tuition to return to college. I accepted his generous offer and enrolled as a marketing student at the University of Maryland, College Park. Then, during an accounting class, a Korean man from my class nervously asked me to study the Bible one-to-one with him. I was surprised and was not sure what he was talking about. Nevertheless, after considering that this meeting might be an answer to prayer, I accepted the Korean man’s invitation.

We met on the open grass in the middle of the University of Maryland campus. I suggested that we meet there because I thought that if he was a member of a cult, like the Moonies, I could just run away. But he brought two hymn books and two Bibles with him. We sang, “Holy! Holy! Holy!” and “Amazing Grace” right there in the middle of campus. Then we turned to John’s Gospel, Chapter 1. He read verse 1, and then I read verse 2; and so it went until we read the whole chapter. Then he pulled out some question sheets for our inductive Bible study, which helped me to internalize God’s word.

We met every week and my new friend held me accountable to our schedule. I began going to church with him and was treated as if I was the most important person in the world. As I started reading the Bible on my own, I became concerned about the translation, interpretation, and application of the Scripture, so I purchased Bible dictionaries, concordances, and commentaries at Christian bookstores. Reflecting on those days, I grew in faith at an incredible rate. More importantly, I was learning to say “No” to sin. Scripture asks, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to [God’s] word” (Ps 119:9).

I myself began to invite other students to have Bible studies with me. Some came to live with me in my one bedroom apartment next to the campus. I treated them as I had been treated, loving them as a father, but holding them accountable. When my group had grown too large to meet altogether in one place, we broke up into separate weekly fellowship groups. I met with the other fellowship group leaders every Monday night to practice preaching messages we had written. Critiquing one another so that we could preach our messages to our fellowship groups, God blessed our work and we continued to increase in number. At one point, I was nicknamed “John” after I preached a fiery message from Matthew 3. So, I had two names for a long time; Allen at work and John on the campus.

The Father’s Heart
I met my wife, Sigrid, at an international Bible conference in 1979. She was living in Germany, but when I later asked her to marry me, she responded like Rebekah, “I will go” (Gen 24:58). We married in Chicago in December, 1982, and drove to Milwaukee to pray for college campus ministries for our honeymoon. (Doesn’t everyone?) Thus, the pattern of prayer in our little family began with warm hearts and cold hands.

When my twin sons were born the following summer, they were four months premature and very sick. The doctor bills mounted and we owed $2.5 million. Although it was a humanly impossible situation, the Lord assured me that the lives of my children were in his hands, just as my life had been in his hands. When asked about a blind man, Jesus said, “This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life” (Jn 9:3b). It was hard to see what good our sufferings would produce in my children or in me. Looking back, I remember opportunities to minister had opened to families and individuals that would not have happened without my family’s suffering. Hundreds were saved and discipled. God wasted nothing. He also showed me that he was my provider: past, present, and future.

Go to a Land I will Show You
We moved from our small rented home in College Park and bought a fixer-upper in Bowie, where I had grown up. We joined an AG church where I served as a deacon, Sunday School teacher, and a foreign mission missions team leader.  In late 2000, a strange thing began to happen. My ears began to bleed every time I went into the sanctuary of our church. This went on for a year. I first blamed the sound technicians for turning up the volume. I also blamed the Senior Pastor for not caring about my trouble. But, I later learned that this was not their fault at all, but it was from God. He was stirring me, making me uncomfortable, and driving me out of that church because he had a ministry opportunity at another church, a local Baptist church. At the new church, I developed adult education materials, taught Sunday School, created the church website and church handbook. I was also a part of founding a local men’s movement called CoBAMM, and later, Turn ON the Light-Bowie, which is a parachurch organization designed to encourage collaboration between the Bowie-area churches.

In 2001, just as I was transitioning between churches, something else happened. Sigrid, who is a school library media specialist, took me with her to a national book fair in Washington, DC. It was a beautiful day on Saturday, September 8th, and we visited many different pavilions hosting authors, who read their books aloud. At one point though, I felt very unsettled so I excused myself, telling Sigrid that I needed to go for a walk. I walked around the Capitol, and as I walked, words from Psalm 48 came to mind, “Walk about Zion, go around her, count her towers” (v12). I looked out across the Mall and I continued, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Ps 46:1). I did not know what exactly the Lord wanted me to pray for. I asked for a shield around me, around my family, around – around the Capitol building. They say that other buildings were targeted on 9/11, but, I know what building was shielded by God that day.

In 2004, while I had been working as a Quality Assurance Manager for the National Flood Map Modernization Program, the Lord impressed upon my heart to prepare for fulltime ministry. I did not know what that meant or what form it would take. Nevertheless, in an act of obedience I worked toward and received a degree in Religious Studies from Regent University.

The Next Chapter
A purposeless life is aimless and chaotic. Henry Blackaby teaches that a purposeful life studies the Bible, discerns the direction that God is moving, and makes adjustments to join with Him. As a wedding is only the beginning of a lifetime marriage, so salvation is only the beginning of our spiritual formation and our eternal walk with God. Life without expecting change is unrealistic. So, let me change! Let me stretch and become more like Jesus, my Savior. He lived his life, not for himself, but to serve and to save others. To deny ourselves, to take up our cross, and follow him is the heart of a true Christian according to my life key verse (Mk 8:34).

I am over 50, but God has called me into greater ministry and not retirement. God has called me to continue my Seminary training so that I may reveal his grace to a new generation. This generation needs a new identity in Jesus Christ based on the gospel, and they need someone to invite them into the Kingdom. Here am I; send me. Yet, not me, but God’s grace in me.

May the Lord be glorified.   --Al--